Right, details. In case anyone don't know the series involved, they are Paperinik New Adventures, obviously, and Hellsing, a manga about a twelve year-old girl given control over an organization whose purpose is to fight vampires, werewolves, nazis and catholics, by giving an immortal, unkillable vampire a shitload of superpowers, and ridiculously overpowered weapons.
In retrospect, Paperinik supposed he should have seen it coming.
The Evronians never attacked a planet unless they felt confident in their victory. they never made a renewed assault on a planet that had fended them off without a weapon they felt could overcome their adversaries.
After he and Xadhoom had fended off several such attempts on Earth, the Evronians figured that, since killing us seemed impossible, they would have to remove us from their path by other means. So they did...
At first it was a routine battle for Earth's fate aboard an Evronian Battlecruiser. at least, that's how it seemed.
A flick of a switch. Just like that, they had opened up a portal that sucked in him and Xadhoom. He didn't even know how long they'd been falling. It could have been hours or minutes. Nor did he register what his new surroundings looked like.
On some level, he felt like he wasn't supposed to...
The night was young in London, England as the sky had just turned dark. A few stars and yellow crescent moon glowed softly as they watched over the land and gave a small light to the busy townsfolk below. It had been some time since humans were able to work night shifts or at least travel around during the night without any trouble. The city was finally at peace since the Major had died.
It was all thanks to the efforts of Hellsing and the Vatican crusaders that there was such peace. The only saddening part about it was that none of the human folk knew of their efforts. They simply lived their lives without knowing that vampires were amongst them. Nowadays, no vampires were around, and this was a concern for only one person - one vampire, to be exact.
Alucard was seated at his throne-like chair, thinking to himself. He had been awake for about two hours now, and, in that short time, he began counting how many times he had been bored just waking up to a peaceful existence. Normally, at around this time or perhaps a bit earlier, Walter would saunter in his dimly-lit chambers to offer him wine or medical blood and spark a little conversation with him.
With his friend gone (due to him becoming a vampire and plaything for the master vampire), he was now only ever spoken to by Integra or Seras. Not that he minded since he still had affection towards both women, but it was beginning to bore him much more since all they ever really ask of him is advice or his opinion about something or other. Nothing of true importance or entertainment, with exception of Seras asking if vampires could lose their virginity to humans. That was something that made him laugh!
However, his recollection of that conversation ended briefly as he felt a peculiar rift of power flooding his basement. He grinned a bit out of curiosity more than excitement and watched as a bright light glowed near the base of the stairs leading out of his room. From the light came a sharp cut in space and time, further increasing Alucard's curiosity and excitement.
In a few seconds, a woman emerged from the rift and with her came the disappearance of the rift of power. She looked to be somewhere in her early twenties, was of average height and build, and appeared lost as she looked around his quarters, illuminating the darkness, with the emerald glow of her eyes.
"Oh. Hello miss. how can I help you?" Alucard asked calmly, as if strangers with wild blonde hair, clad in strange red and black suits appeared from rifts of emerald energy often.
"You can start by telling me where I am." The woman angrily demanded.
"You are in the Hellsing family dungeon, though I'm afraid that doesn't matter." Alucard stated politely.
"Oh? And why is that?" she asked, smirking.
"Because... You've intruded on the domain of a vampire." Alucard declared, one eye glowing. "Really... I don't see how I can let you leave here alive... I'm afraid I'll have to put a bullet in you..." Alucard said smirking, pulling out the Casull and the Jackal, and aimed them straight at her.
"Go ahead." The woman muttered mockingly, surprising Alucard, though he quickly shrugged it off, and fired both guns. The bullets hit the strange woman directly.
As soon as they made contact with her suit, however, they melted, and fell to the floor with an audible 'Clink', making it clear to Alucard that this was no ordinary opponent. It wasn't until then that Alucard and Xadhoom got a good look at the other. "Entirely emerald-green eyes... quite unusual..." he said, somehow sounding both complimenting and mocking.
"So are red eyes." She shot back, and fired an energy-blast directly at Alucard, tearing off his left arm. The reaction, however, was not what she was expecting.
She had anticipated shock at the loss of an appendage. Instead, the man seemed unconcerned with the injury. He was even smirking. Then, Xadhoom could see why; His body had regrown the missing arm with a shadowy mass, that immediately coalesced back into flesh.
He proceeded to fire several gunshots at her, some of which she bothered to dodge, some of which she allowed to pass through her by opening holes in her body and some of which she let hit her and melt.
After Alucard had spent a few magazines on shooting the intruder, he decided to try something else..."Release Control Art Restriction System Level 3... 2.. 1." Xadhoom, though not liking the sound of it, had no idea what that was supposed to mean.
She soon got her answer, as he charged at her, impaling her through where the ribcage would be in a human. Without flinching, she fired another energy-blast back, tossing him across the room, while leaving his arm embedded in her chest. After pulling it out and closing the hole he'd made, she noticed both him smirking, wearing a black suit similar to her own, and him regenerating the severed limb as a shadowy mass that was disproportionate to his body.
After falling an unknown amount of time, Paperinik landed on what looked like a hallway. As Seras and Pip went on a walk around the Hellsing mansion, she suddenly heard a noise a few hallways away. To Seras's vampire hearing, the noise seemed to sound like "One".
"Pip, grab your gun. We have an intruder." She whispered to him, who quickly complied. After tracking the source of the noise to the same hallway where Jan Valentine had recited the Konami Code, they were both shocked at what they found.
It was Donald Duck. Wearing a strange shield of some kind.
"We have to tell Sir Integra about this..." Seras whispered, confused beyond all reason.
"Yeah..." Pip agreed, dumbstruck at seeing a Disney character in the heart of the Hellsing mansion.
"So which way is this 'Integra's' office?" Paperinik asked, calmly and clearly, unlike the coarse gurgles Seras had heard as young.
"Follow us." Seras and Pip said, Pip still bewildered at his presence, and Seras bewildered at her own surprise. "Seriously, crazy things happened at the Hellsing mansion. Why should something like this be an exception?" She thought to herself, and after a short walk, they arrived at her office.
"Is this intended as some sort of joke, Seras?" Integra inquired icily, upon noticing Donald.
"No, Sir Integra. We found him in a hallway." She answered, earning a disbelieving snort from the woman.
"Miss, we're telling you, I really am Donald Duck." He interjected.
"I don't believe you. Donald Duck. Is. Fictional." Integra punctuated. "So no, you're not. And regardless, you're leaving my mansion. Immediately..." She spoke, annoyance and disbelief present in her voice.
"Whether you believe me is irrelevant. What we should be focusing on is returning me and Xadhoom to our universe. You want us out of here, and we want to go back."
"Xadhoom?" The group repeated, confused.
"Yeah, that woman who arrived with me." Paperinik muttered.
"What did she look like?" Integra asked. "He's insane."
"Blonde mohawk... Red and black skin-tight suit... Emerald-green eyes. And no, not just the iris. The eyes themselves are green as well." He listed.
"Seras, Pip... did you see anyone matching that description?" Integra asked, concerned for her unseen visitor's safety.
"No, Sir Integra..." Seras replied nervously.
"Then... Mister duck, provided that is your real name, I am afraid there's a chance that your friend, if she's here, has ended up in Alucard's dungeon."
"I don't like that name..." Paperinik muttered.
"Indeed, you shouldn't." Integra spoke, earning nods of agreements from Seras and Pip. "If this 'Xadhoom' is indeed there, we have to face facts: she is most likely already dead... And you don't seem that concerned about that." She noted.
"First off, I have no idea who this 'Alucard' is. And secondly, Xadhoom is, to my understanding, a disembodied mass of solar energy, that assumes physical form, not something this 'Alucard' can kill or injure, if it is at all possible." Paperinik explained.
"I wouldn't sell Alucard short. He is an immortal and unkillable vampire, wielding immeasurable power. He can kill anything." Integra countered, somewhat annoyed by his dismissive attitude. "A disembodied mass of energy, you say?... Interesting, for like this 'Xadhoom', Alucard is a disembodied mass of amorphous darkness."
"Really?" Paperinik asked, intrigued. "Perhaps, this 'Alucard' is the local parallel universe counterpart to Xadhoom." He suggested. "From what little I've heard of him, there seem to be some similarities; both were otherwise normal members of their races, before being transformed and given incredible powers. From how you describe him, I'll hazard a guess that they are both nearly immortal and invincible. Seven-letter word names..." Then, something seemed to click in his mind. "Alucard... Is that his true name? Or one that he assumed?"
"One that he assumed." Integra replied. "Why do you ask?"
"Is his true name a four-letter word?" Paperinik asked, unnerving Integra with just how much knowledge he seemed to have about Alucard.
"It is." She replied, confusing Seras and Pip.
"Master's name isn't Alucard?"
"It both is and isn't, Seras." Integra replied.
"But how're we gonna find this 'Xadhoom' person?" Pip grumbled. "God, it's gonna be like finding a needle in a haystack."
"Actually, Xadhoom answered that one." Paperinik commented.
"She did?" Integra and Seras asked, surprised.
"Yeah. You just lit the haystack on fire."
"She sounds more and more like Alucard by the second." Integra muttered.
"So master's not the only one who prefers overkill..." Seras sweatdropped.
Then, a tremor shook the room, causing several shelf items to fall to the floor. "I think they've met." Paperinik muttered.
"Indeed." Integra replied dryly, while also smoking a cigar. She then pressed a button on the speaker system. "Alucard: stop whatever you're doing, and come up here immediately." She shouted, her order echoing through the dungeon where he and Xadhoom were fighting.
"It seems we will have to end this fight prematurely." He snarled.
"Yes... It wasn't leading anywhere." Xadhoom agreed.
After a short while, Alucard and Xadhoom phased in through the office floor. Paperinik took a moment to inspect the vampire. Red trenchcoat... Orange-tinted sunglasses... Crimson, wide-brimmed fedora-hat... The man had style, that much was obvious... "So this is the famous vampire Alucard..." Paperinik muttered.
"Indeed." He answered.
"And people never work out the blindingly obvious?" He muttered, earning smirks from Integra and Alucard, and looks of confusion from Xadhoom, Seras and Pip.
"Because they do not wish to, I suspect..." Alucard replied, smirking wildly, exposing his inhuman maw.
"What're you talking about?" The other three exclaimed, perplexed, causing Paperinik to facepalm, and Integra to groan. Alucard, on the other hand, was laughing maniacally.
"Isn't it obvious?... A centuries-old vampire... Named alucarD..." He said, emphasizing the D. "Working for the Hellsing family, of all things... How much more do you need to work it out?..." Paperinik sighed, exasperated with the blonde and Frenchman. He couldn't fault Xadhoom for not knowing, as she was an alien, after all.
"Call me stupid, and just tell me." Pip shouted.
"Avenger. Let's go back to our universe." Xadhoom interjected impatiently, preventing him from replying, opening a portal similar to the one that had brought them here.
"You can open interdimensional portals?" Integra exclaimed, disbelieving at the sight.
"Of course. This is not like the Avenger's comicbooks, which I have rather come to find entertaining, where events conspire to keep the characters trapped." Xadhoom replied smirking. "Oh, and Red-Eyes?" She smirked at Alucard. "I'll be back to settle this fight."
"You'll try." He grinned.
The two then went into the portal.
In the seconds before it sealed, Pip could swear that he heard, "I'll find Dracula for you, when we get back."
"Alucard... Seras... Pip..." Integra muttered, slowly. "Let us never speak of this again."
It was not a good day for the Evronian army.
Paperinik and Xadhoom had returned from whatever dimension they had been sent to by Gorthan's weapon. As a few dozen of the kinsmen of an escaping group of Evronian soldiers could attest to, she was not pleased.
Seeing a dark alley, the fleeing squad ran into it, hoping that they could teleport back to the ship from there.
"Do you know what creatures like you do?" A smooth, cold, sadistic voice, like fire and ice, called out to them, seeming to come from all directions at once.
"Wh-where are you?" One of the Evronians asked, unnerved by the power and authority present in the voice. "Show yourself."
On command, a tall, red-clad man faded into existence from the shadows. "You bleed!" He gleefully exclaimed, firing his Jackal and Casull at them. When the bullets made contact with the Evronians, the struck bodyparts exploded, spilling their blood over the walls and pavement.
Entranced with the carnage unfolding in front of him, Alucard fired again and again, painting the area crimson with each gunshot, laughing maniacally all the while.
Once there was naught but horribly disfigured, near liquified alien bodies and bloody stains left in his wake, he prepared to depart the scene.
"Really... Not surprising those things don't pose a challenge to her." He spat.
Subject: Quite possibly the first ever PKNA Fanfic in english 
Sat Mar 09, 2013 9:07 pm
